Busy Times

Graduation!

2008-11-16T16:53:00.003Z

I finally feel like it's done and my time at Sheffield Hallam is over. I can official add BSc (hons) to my name.

Here's a couple of pictures, one of just me and one with Tim and Caitlin.

Back to School!

2008-09-03T21:03:00.004+01:00

First day back at school and our independent 5 year old didn't want daddy to take her into the classroom. She was all big enough to go by herself. I guess our big girl talk worked a little too well, poor Tim! I think he was looking forward to taking her into her classroom.

The new job is going well, but a little chaotic as it is a new team and our offices aren't ready yet so we're camping out in other PCT offices.

In other news we've bought a new car (almost), well new to us, it's a few months old car. The paperwork is all signed, but we need to get the hand controls fitted, which fingers crossed will be fitted on tuesday. Very excited, it's a shiny red 307 station wagon.

2008-08-28T16:43:00.002+01:00

I know I am biased, but I do think my daughter is beautiful and when she is in the right mood very photogenic. I just love this picture of her smiling at me behind the camera from holiday.

Scrapblog

2008-08-28T12:50:00.002+01:00

Been having a little play with Scrapblog with some photos from our holiday this month.

Time flies when you're having fun...

2008-08-22T19:19:00.003+01:00

...or everything seems to happen at the same time!

So an overdue update, I finished my degree!!! I got a 2.1 so I'm delighted, given I started 3 years ago expecting a 2.2 and that was before Tim's operations happened.

I have also got a job and will be starting in early September as a graduate mental health worker. I'm excited and daunted and scared and happy all at the same time, but most of all relieved that I have a job lined up. Lots of my fellow graduates are still hunting after several interviews. But if I thought I may have more time to myself, well maybe not, one of the conditions of the job is to complete a postgraduate certificate in mental health (the first year of a masters), which the fund and give me day release to attend classes. So I guess my craft time may be limited for a while longer, but it will be worth it. Where ever I go in the future it will be another string to my bow and is supposed to have a large CBT content to it which will be a large part of my job, so it will be invaluable to my professional development.

Tim, Caitlin and I went to County Durham this year on a house swap with his parents, saved Tim getting off the floor camping again. Despite the weather being a bit hit and miss we had a nice break. Caitlin even got the chance to blow some glass at the national glass centre and I added to my paperweight collection. So did my daughter, who came back home and while unpacking announced she was going to put her little paperweight and glass duck in her 'glass collection'.

Tim's operation on his second foot initial seem to go well and the foot shape is better than the other one, primarily due to some new titanium plates they used, that weren't available last time. Unfortunately now these are causing a few problems so he's going to need another more minor operation to remove these and hopefully reduce his pain. They've done their job now at least and despite the extra operation probably were worthwhile.

Proud Mummy Moment

2008-03-25T16:57:00.002Z

Ok so this is definately one of those proud Mummy moments. Caitlin made her first scrapbook layout on Sunday! She chose the photos from the ones I had taken. She decided on pink for the background paper and them choose the patterned paper from a range of pinks I pulled out for her. When I asked what she wanted on the page, she decided on 'Easter egg hunt'. Unsurprisingly she liked the pink glittery letters, the white letters are cut from pearlised card.
Caitlin had very definate ideas of what QK shapes she wanted se;ecting eggs, chicks and flowers from my QK folders.

She needed some help with sticking the paper and photos down. But the easter letters she stuck down and all the QK shapes. The only bits she asked me to do were the white letters and to write the date on the eggs. Didn't she do fab?! Even better she immediately asked if she could do another page on a different day.

I think another scrapper is born, I'm not sure if Tim is delighted he'll get more free time while Caitlin and I scrap together or fears for the balance of our bank account with a second scrapper in residence, LOL.

The year so far

2008-03-25T16:20:00.004Z

Ok, so I've been hopeless at posting this academic year, but I am still here!

I've finished my independent study and my dissertation, thank goodness. I'm on placement on a non-traditional placement at a residential college for adult education, I've done a month, then I have another 8 weeks left and 2 weeks at university before I finish my degree (well if I don't fail anything, so fingers crossed).

Tim is recovering from his second foot operation in January and seems to be doing ok at the moment. I'm nt sure if it has been easier this time as we knew what to expect, or tougher as we knew how long the recover was and could be more realistic. Tim is now the bionic man though as they used these low profile metal plates in his foot this time.

Caitlin is loving school and is loving reading, she has just taken to it like a duck to water. Her writing is a bit further behind, but she's doing well and keeps us on our toes.

We've just had the Easter weekend and there was snow on the ground on Easter day, so I rushed out before breakfast to layout and easer egg hunt round the garden so she could do it in the snow as she wanted. By the time she got out it was already melting and too slushy to make snow balls, but she did like running around the snow in her wellies collecting eggs.

I've not had much time or energy for crafting apart for jewellery. I've been making jewellery, especially as my independent study was on the use of jewellery as a creative therapy, I attended a jewellery making class, making pieces from scratch. Which developed my skills further, I loved hammering metal to create a textured finish on the copper. the necklace in the picture is one I made, the leaf shapes I cut, hammered and finished from copper, then assembled with the copper jump rings, round links and toggle clasp.

The lariat style necklace is one I made and absolutely adore. I originally made it as I didn't know what I could do with the silvery beads which have flecks of brown and aqua in them. The combination seems to work beautifully and I've had more compliments about this necklace than any other I've made.

Recently I've started to pick up my digital scrapbooking more, partly because Tim kindly upgraded my memory in my laptop, so it can cope better with digi scrapping and partly because I have been developing some stuff for placement using digi scrapping as an activity.

1st Day at School

2007-09-04T16:45:00.000+01:00

Well first morning really as they finish at 12.30pm for the first week. But today was my baby girl's first day at school. She was very excited this morning and came home very enthusiast to go back tomorrow. She tells me she has played in and outside, played with lego, painted a picture, played musical instruments and sang.

She's also made one new friend but she doesn't know her name. She didn't know any of the other children as she's previously been at the private nursery while I've been studying.

Doesn't she look so grown up in her uniform?

Brave

2007-07-24T16:15:00.000+01:00

Been to the Butterfly House today, Caitlin loves wandering around looking at the butterflies and finding the lizards that run about too. The body of this lizard is about 18" long, plus it's tail is almost twice as long again.

As well as the butterflies there's a small farm where she fed a goat and a lamb and a bird of prey centre. Today she held an owl for the first time, she told me that I had to take a picture of her with the owl for Daddy who was at work.

In other news I've almost strimmed all the weeds and grass at the lottie, one more trip with the strimmer should do it. Just cutting everything back makes it look so much better, just the edging for paths, masses of bark to shift, beds to dig for the autumn planting onions and garlic, oh and a shed to build, not much then :O Well it wouldn't be so bad if it would just stop raining for a while!

I passed the year!

2007-07-23T21:51:00.000+01:00

Finally got my results, and I passed the year, my average was 66% which is pretty good, seeing as 60 - 69% is a 2.1 degree. Unfortunately I've not had all the feedback as due to administration incompetence by my university someone else has got some of my feedback sheets, including my worst and best results of the year, both of which I'd really like to see. I'm not the only one, apparently there several of us. It's just typical of the lack of concern that we've had this year, major delays in feed back, lectures and teaching sessions missed due to staff illness and not rescheduled and if we complain just verbally slapped down by head of the course. Oh well only one year to go.

In other news, we've remained dry throughout the floods in South Yorkshire, although the village has been cut off at various points. The dip at the bottom of our road is still flooding every time it rains for more than a hour or two. We managed to miss the worst of the floods by being on holiday in the Lakes where it was much drier even with half the campsite flooding on our last night. We did come back early, worried about forecasts of more rain and flooding.

Caitlin has been for two visits to her new school and can't wait to start in September. Our baby is growing up! It's nice spending more time with her over my summer break, just wish the weather was better.

The allotment is doing ok considering the dreadful wet weather this year. One forum I've been on old-timers have given up on the summer crops and just trying to clear down for autumn and winter crops, well those whose allotments aren't under water. So if they can't get anywhere what hope do I have, at least if we can keep the weeds down and the grass strimmed I can hopefully dig more over the autumn. Who knows we could have a heatwave in October, this year there's no telling!

Thank you...

2007-05-14T17:02:00.000+01:00

...for all the messages of support, it really does make a difference.

Caitlin is out of plaster and seems to be healing nicely, although you can see where the bone bows in her wrist, but the consultant tells us because she is so young it will reshape and straighten as she grows, so we shouldn't worry about it. The main thing is the fracture is healing.

She's still getting used to using her right arm and hand again, but she's getting better by the day using it more and more. Her elbow doesn't seem too stiff either.

I did get some photos before the cast came off. These were at the entrance to the allotment.

Beauty in the garden

2007-05-02T14:27:00.000+01:00

Couldn't resist getting out in the sunshine and taking some pictures. The white clematis is smothered in flower again this year. It may not be the prettiest plant for the rest of the year, but late spring gives so much joy it is definately a favourite. The peony will be in full bloom shortly at the moment it just gives a hint of what's to come. Then the first rose of the year is out, had to stop Caitlin from picking this yesterday, I gave her one of the hundreds of clematis flowers instead, but she's still after a rose, I had to promise her one when more come out later in the year.

I'm still here!

2007-05-01T19:47:00.000+01:00

Things are getting better, feeling much more in control again. Spring always
helps as the SAD receeds even if the more general depression doesn't, but
I am off the antidepressants and doing ok.

I've got another year to go at uni, but this year is going ok so far, I've
got great marks in the work I've got back (1st class degree level!), but
still waiting on the assignment that was most badly affected by the
depression/Tim being in recovery from his op.

Caitlin broke her arm over the Easter break with an unstable buckle fracture of her radius in her right arm. So she's in a bright pink cast from the bottom of her fingers to just below her shoulder. It hasn't slowed her down at all! As she bounces round in her usual way Tim and I aren't sure if we should hover behind to catch her if she falls or shut our eyes! lol. All being well the plaster comes off on 9th May a week on Wednesday. Fortunately the unstable break didn't shift so she doesn't need surgery which was a huge relief.

Oh and I/we have just taken on an allotment we get the keys this week/early next week. So the vegetables don't take over the back garden. It's all very overgrown, but the council are going to strim it for us shortly then we get to get the weed killer out and get digging! I may be odd, but I find pottering outside with plants is strangely relaxing and calming, very good for lowering stress levels.

Life sucks

2007-01-30T16:21:00.001Z

Hmm, not been a good month, I've been fighting the joys of depression/SAD, so bad that I'm back on the antidepressants which kinda seems a backward step after 18 months off them, but I'd got to the not wanting to leave the house stage, which is not good. Plus I'm seeing a mental health worker for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to get some coping strategies for the panic attacks and the like.

It's been hard going with Tim being off his feet, but we're keeping our fingers crossed that his plaster cast will be off this thursday and he's started to drive this week too, which is fab.

Unfortunately I've also got the worst viral infection since glandular fever seven years ago. I haven't properly for days, I can't breathe, my throat feels like cut glass and my glands have been huge. Now poor Tim is going down with it poor man, so Caitlin has gone to the grandparents.

Oh and to add insult to injury I've an assignment to write by friday, when my head hasn't been straight for a week and I missed half the teaching because I couldn't cope.

Sorry to anyone who's emailed me, I've not read any, nor have I posted on any forums. Hopefully I'll get myself straight once my assignment is done. I just hope I can scrape a pass. Off to look at more stuff on OT assessment

Life sucks

2007-01-30T16:21:00.000Z

End of term and Tim's operation

2006-12-15T12:23:00.000Z

Well firstly my second placement is over and done with, got a great placement report too, so very happy. My assignment is posted and that's all the work I need to do until after christmas.

Tim had his operation yesterday, so he's in hospital recovering with an epidural for pain relief, no idea when he'll be coming home, but as his epidural is still in place today I don't think it will be tomorrow as initially thought possible. He's got a huge cast round his foot which is having to be redone today as he's got a wrinkle in it. No idea what his hip looks like where they took the bone slither to wedge in his foot from. They have managed to take enough out for both feet, so as long as the freezer doesn't break down before the other foot is done he'll only have to have that bit once, which is great as that's actually the bit that hurts more.

The hospital doesn't usually allow children under 12 to visit, but the ward sister has agreed this morning to a short visit from Caitlin this afternoon. She was so upset yesterday when we'd told her she couldn't visit her Daddy, so today she is bouncing about going in. I've got a new story for Daddy to read to her and she's getting the riot act about being good before we go in and we'll keep it short. But I think both Caitlin and Tim will benefit from a visit.

I passed!!!

2006-11-03T12:12:00.000Z

First driving test and I got 5 minor faults, so I'm now a holder of a full automatic licence. Tim contacted the insurance company and updated my details, so after lunch I'm off to scare Tim in the car. I figure after some lunch I might just have stopped bouncing and be safer in the car.

Halloween

2006-11-01T09:31:00.000Z

We carved pumpkins at the weekend Tim did one and Caitlin and I the other one (ours is the one on the left), she's very good at scrapping out the pumpkin. We put both pumpkins out, but unfortunately someone decided Tim's was so good that they decided to take it. Caitlin seemed to enjoy halloween, we didn't take her trick or treating, but instead every time trick or treaters came to the door, she was allowed to add a treat to her dish of treats. She was all dressed up as a witch, complete with a witch's broomstick from her grandma and grandad. Tim had to deal with most of it as I had a driving lesson. But here's some piccies of our little witch.

Long time, no post

2006-10-19T16:40:00.000+01:00

Well finally things are improving, I got taken off one medication and after a week put on a different one and the change has been phenomenal! I feel human again, the headaches and migraine are receeding fast and I can use the computer again for more than 5 minutes at a time, very happy bunny.

I have just finished my placement today and I've passed the practical element, in fact got much better result than I expected, so I'm delighted. I've been given an extension to the written component which was due tomorrow, due to the health problems and not being able to use computer enough for research and writing the assignemnet itself. Although I can see myself in intermediate care long term I have enjoyed the placement and the team have been lovely and supportive and made me feel one of the team, I'll miss them.

This weekend we went to Tim's parents and Kirsty from Kaptured by Kirsty took pictures of the whole family as their 40th wedding anniversary present. There's some amazing pictures in there, we're going to go for a DVD of all the picture and 30 proofed photos, we just need to negotiate as a family which ones to get proofed. I love some ones of me on my own that Kirsty has taken and there's some beautiful pictures of Caitlin, who was definately the star of the show. Most importantly though Tim's parents are over the moon with the results, they've got some fab pictures of their family, all of whom are usual camera shy! Thoroughly recommend Kirsty to anyone!

2006-10-03T15:46:00.000+01:00

I've struggled for many years with depression of various sorts, before Caitlin was born I was told it was SAD (seasonal affected disorder) and that a winter sun break would make all the difference, unfortunately not available on the NHS, I did ask tongue in cheek. After Caitlin was born I had PND although it took me quite a while to accept it. I guess I ticked so many of the at risk boxes that I should have been more prepared for it. Between Tim's job moving us away from friends and my brothers, coping with a 5 month old baby through the week on my own while he worked in Sheffield for a while and then the stress of moving and then buying a house and moving again, all by the time Caitlin was little more than a year old didn't help. But it was easier to say I was stressed and tired than accept that after the joy of our miracle baby I was so so miserable until I reached such a point I had to face it head on.

I know I am a stressed person, I get anxious very quickly and have major issues with self confidence and I find it difficult to mix in social situations, all of which made the move from Edinburgh 2 years ago so difficult. Tim always is telling me not to worry and stress so much, but I don't know how not to. I do wonder if all the drinking through my teenage years when all these social skills were developing effected this, when I was scared or anxious I just drank a bit more until my inhibitions and fears receeded. But now as a sober adult how do I cope with all these feelings?

My problem is working out when my stress levels, nerves and crippling self doubt change over into depression sometimes it can be a fine line. At the moment with the high blood pressure, the headaches it causes and my memory being permanently shot to pieces it gets me down as I feel so crap. I wish there was a magic pill to take it all away.

Creativity

2006-10-01T16:03:00.000+01:00

Well been very tired and very worn out, had loads of headaches and migraines and finding my placement very stressful. Although I'm passing my placement at the halfway stage, which is good news, the intermediate care setting is not for me.

It feels like all my creativity is drained out of me, I've not done much craft at all in the last few weeks, between lack of time, tiredness and headaches, so I'm very chuffed that I've made one necklace this weekend while Tim and Caitlin have been at his parents. The pendant is blueberry stone.

Third time luckyish

2006-09-24T16:26:00.000+01:00

Third time lucky Caitlin and I finally managed to make the body of her piggie moneybox with papier mache. The first two the balloon burst part way through covering Caitlin and I with watered down PVA glue! Tim was duely despatched for a new bag of balloons from the supermarket. The third one didn't burst but overnight has deflated slightly while it's been drying leaving a slightly crinkly body, but never mind it will do the job. Caitlin did enjoy getting the paper all wet and sticking it down, she had far more patience than I expected. Just need to let the whole thing dry out now and then We can stick the legs and nose on and paint it. Will probably be next weekend now.

Good and bad

2006-09-22T16:50:00.000+01:00

Good news my blood tests were all normal so I just have high blood pressure, with no underlying cause. So I can now have medication to bring it down and hopefully cut the migraines back. The bad news, the migraines and headaches have been awful over the last fortnight. My placement is more stressful and not as supportive as my last one, so that's put my blood pressure up and made me worse short term. I've started my medication and hopefully things will improve in the next week or so and the dizziness and very red cheeks will fade.

In the meantime the house looks like a bombs hit it as I've done so little housework. Tim was rushed off his feet with an important deadline last week, he was working on saturday and he's shattered too, although he's trying his best this week to catch up.

At least Caitlin is ok, if a little grumpy in the mornings, she's almost used to the early starts again though and getting back into the swing of nursery 5 days a week. Although she seem to be trying altered art at the moment, she's 'altered' her t-shirt, a drawer unit at nursery and herself almost every day this week with a combination of paint and pens. Why oh why don't they have washable pens and paint?!!

Oh and I have a date for my practical test 3rd November!

Tired

2006-09-12T21:18:00.000+01:00

Hmm perhaps not a good idea to have a 2 hour driving lesson on the second day of my placement. So tired and making stupid mistakes in lesson. I guess I am getting there slowly, I'm just impatient and want to be ready for my practical test now!

Placement is going ok so far, the team is nice, but I still feel like a fish out of water. Everything is very confusing and there's so many names and faces. It feels like there's so much to learn and so little time. Six weeks isn't very long which makes it even more important to find my feet quickly. My educator is very overworked due to another member of staff being on maternity leave and also has a new basic grade started the week before me. I may get to do my first initial interview with my educator tomorrow. I'm hoping to start doing more and be able to play a more active role soon and feel like I can contribute more.

5 years on

2006-09-11T19:41:00.000+01:00

My thoughts and prayers today are with all those who lost friends and loved ones 5 years ago. I will never forget seeing the second plane crash into the towers and seeing both towers collapse. Although I was at work that day I was having a test in the corner of the canteen for something. The television was on and when I got there the first plane had not long hit the tower, we all were stood there watching in total silence as the second plane hit, until the first tower collapsed when there was a collective gasp of horror.

One of Tim's old uni friends worked for Merrill Lynch in the Twin Towers, amazingly he was off work because a roller blader had knocked him flying the previous day and he was off work sick. That roller blader may have saved his life. Who'd have though a roller blader would be your guardian angel?

Tim's work

2006-09-07T22:22:00.000+01:00

For those of you who I have tried to explain to, this is what has been keeping Tim so busy - template based authoring
Have to admit I'll be glad when he stops working quite so hard though!

Katy's christening part 2

2006-09-07T14:47:00.000+01:00

Some more pictures from the book

Katy's book

2006-09-07T14:43:00.000+01:00

Have finally got Katy's christening book posted to her mum before they go back to New Zealand. Here's a few pages from it. She is such a beautiful baby.

Guess who's a year rep?

2006-09-05T17:42:00.000+01:00

Yup me. I volunteered myself and I am now elected one of the reps for the 2nd year OTs. I got fed up with getting messed about and the year reps did their best, but none of them were parents and really could address the issues some of us had. Any how this year I feel a bit more prepared for University and the demands there may be, so think I have the time to do it. It won't go amiss on my CV and when the tutors are writing our references in 3rd year and in a competitive job market every little helps.

End of the Summer

2006-09-02T21:45:00.000+01:00

I can't believe how quick my summer break has gone, tomorrow is my last day of freedom before my second year starts. I had such good plans for what I'd get done this summer and it hasn't happened, for various reasons. I still have an attic full of unsorted craft stash and a cellar where I've not looked in one of the boxes. But I did start my driving lesson and pass my theory test and I have been making jewellery which hopefully I'll get round to selling at some point.

I guess I have also had a chance to recharge my batteries for the next year and to spend a precious last long summer with Caitlin. Next year I will have to work to get some upto date work experience on my CV even if it is just care work with the elderly or disabled people and the following year all being well I hope to be working as a fully qualified Occupational Therapist (or Octopus thera-pest as Caitlin calls it). This year the actual marks I get become far more important too as it may affect my final degree classification. This will either be 100% of 3rd year marks or 25% 2nd year and 75% third year marks whichever is higher. So in case I fluff 3rd year it's important to keep the marks up this year. So more nose to the grindstone, no social life, even if I could afford it and precious little craft time. After all Caitlin deserves my time at the weekends.

This year will be tougher too as Tim will be out of action for a while, meaning more stuff falling to me while he's in plaster. A necessary evil to improve his quality of life and well worth 3 months in plaster to help straighten out his foot. Just wonder when the second operation on the other foot will be, usually it's 6 months or so later as the second leg tends to detoriate quicker after one is done, but it does depend on recovery from the first operation and the waiting list of the surgeon. His is very good in the orthopedics field AKA long waiting list, rather the wait than some underling mess it up though CMT foot surgery can be complex.

Gingerbread men

2006-09-02T18:50:00.000+01:00

When Caitlin and I went to the gluten-free food fair in York we bought some gingermen cookies that she loved, but I've not found any since. So I bought a fab gingerbread man cutter this week and Tim found a recipe online so we could make some instead. The cutter stamps the face and buttons on when you cut them out, so much easier with an impatient 3 year old. The cutter range has a lovely star and a christmas tree, so many just have to buy another one or two to make christmas biscuits to decorate with Caitlin closer to christmas.

Another card!

2006-08-31T17:24:00.000+01:00

This was the card I sent to Anam for her birthday again it's Lily Kate mini monograms and paper, with ribbon and rubon from my stash. You can see I'm sat in the lounge with a small child, I've got a chance to upload odd images I've been meaning to! :)

Christmas decoration

2006-08-31T13:20:00.000+01:00

Have been playing with beads and making decorations. This is the first result, the central ball is covered in sparkly glitter, doesn't really show in the photo, but should sparkle in the tree lights. Just need to add a hanging loop.

Best laid plans :(

2006-08-31T12:38:00.000+01:00

Hey hum, so much for running errands today. Caitlin is sick today and has been throwing up this morning. The poor lamb is currently curled up under a fleecy blanket beside me fast asleep. But has spent the morning curled up watching Television, reading storys with me or insisting on cuddles, I've been right beside her all morning, so no housework either.

We've been lucky really Caitlin is largely and healthy child who seems to avoid most bugs that do the rounds apart from the chickenpox, which have got her twice, GP said she was so young and had such a mild dose the first time she didn't get enough immunity, fortunately she was smoothered in spots the second time. But coughs and colds largely pass her by or she'll snuffle for a couple of days, but it doesn't slow her down or seem to affect her. So it kind of catches us by surprise when she is sick. I just hope she continues to have such a good immune system as she gets older.

At least I'm home and it wasn't yesterday for my theory test. I suppose it could be worse this is my last week before uni starts, I'm in uni most of next week then I'm on placement for 6 weeks at a local hopital from 8 - 4 Monday to friday, back in uni for a fortnight, then on a second 6 week placement until Christmas. At which point Tim's operation is due. I somehow think that the time between now and christmas is going to fly!

I passed!!!

2006-08-30T14:07:00.000+01:00

Took my theory and hazard perception test for driving this morning and passed! I got full marks for the theory and 52/75 for the hazard perception bit that I was most worried about.

So now I can book a practical test when I'm ready. I'm hoping and working towards taking the practical test in October sometime. But in a couple of weeks I'm down to one lesson a week as I can't get a second evening lesson with my instructor.

Made me laugh!

2006-08-27T21:02:00.000+01:00

For all wives, finacees and girlfriends of Geeks out there you have to listen to this - The international geek song!
(link courtesy of Rho's blog)

Jewellery again

2006-08-24T12:27:00.000+01:00

More jewellery I've managed to photograph while the sun is out. Blue rectangle set is all glass beads. The brown necklace and bracelet are brown coloured shell and tigers eye chips with seed beads between. The aqua shell one has got round opalite gemstone beads. All with sterling silver findings again.

In other news Caitlin and I have started doing some christmas cards while I'm still off university. With the two placements and a provisional date for Tim's operation of 14th December I want to be as organised as possible this year as spare time could well be at a premium closer to Christmas.

Card

2006-08-23T21:19:00.000+01:00

I love the new Basic Grey - Lily Kate and the new mini monograms are just gorgeous! This card was one I made for Katy's christening.

Reversing and turn in the road - driving lessons continue!

2006-08-22T16:02:00.000+01:00

Had really good lesson today, My instructor took me to a quiet car park to make sure I was happy with reversing and working out where the back of the car was. Then we went back on the roads and practiced reversing in a straight line on the road. He was happy with that, so he decided he would try turn in the roads, so I did some three point turns, didn't hit the curb once and my instructor was really pleased. So next week we're moving onto reversing round corners. I'm even improving round the roundabouts too :)

Good day!

2006-08-21T20:56:00.000+01:00

Had my kidney scan today and they both look normal, as does the adrenal gland, so that's really good news. I go back to see the consultant in september for all the other results. But at least both my kidney and heart are ok.

Also met my placement educator for my placement in september, she seems lovely and so does the team there. I'm going to be in intermediate care ward with a mix of patients, some stroke, hip replacements and other orthopedics cases. There is also a rehab department too who are linked, so will be lovely to be on a ward and have patients there for a longer period of time. Most are there for 4-6 weeks, as long as my placement.

Finally a happy birthday to Anam! Hope you have a lovely day!

Jewellery

2006-08-19T21:20:00.000+01:00

Been making some more jewellery this week, here's some of them. The blue shell earrings are to go with a necklace and bracelet I made a while ago. The bracelet is garnet chips and fresh water pearls, the other two all are glass beads.

Trains

2006-08-18T16:52:00.000+01:00

I think there must be a genetic link somewhere. I got a train set for my third christmas, I'm told it's what my sister and I asked for. Well we got Caitlin a set last christmas and she got a road and rail set for her birthday from us. I've let her play with it in the lounge this week and she's helped me make a track and then has loved running various trains around it. The favourite one is a brio engine that as you push it it lights up, makes steam engine noises and if you press the funnel it whistles!

Some digi LOs

2006-08-14T17:03:00.000+01:00

Been a while since I've loaded any images of my digi layouts. So here's a few of them, I've been playing with brushes from spaceraven and Jason Gaylor. These were all part of a precrop challenge for a cybercrop. Some based on movie titles or lines from them and 80s pop songs.

Driving lessons no. 2

2006-08-14T12:57:00.000+01:00

Well managed the dizzying speed of 50 mph briefly in today's lesson, but perhaps more importantly managed to keep a decent speed on the main road. Did cross roads and left turns on roundabouts too which was ok. Spent much more of the lesson on the main roads. so felt like I was making progress. Roll on tomorrow where we're doing right turns on roundabouts and dual carriageways. All in all I'm progressing well and gaining confidence according to my instructor.

Each lesson seems like a step closer to more freedom and a little less reliance on Tim. I'm sure he'll enjoy the chance to not always be the driver too. Better get on with my theory this afternoon, especially hazard perception.

What a cutie!

2006-08-13T20:29:00.000+01:00

We've been away for the weekend to a christening. Katy is Tim's cousin's daughter whatever that make her, Caitlin's second cousin I think. She's three months old of gorgeous cuteness! Her and her parents are back from New Zealand where they now live to introduce her to the family.

First driving lesson!

2006-08-08T12:24:00.000+01:00

Well had first 2 hour lesson today, didn't crash the car, so that's a good start. Did left and right turns in a circuit on a quiet hosuing estate near here. Then drove home via the main road which was a bit scarey, the parked up outside the house, which was ok, fortunately not to many cars parked. My next lesson is on monday, so hopefully I might manage to get over 20 mph next time.

More birthday pictures

2006-08-03T19:53:00.000+01:00

Caitlin has gone to bed after her birthday tea and lots of new stories. But here's a few more piccies, snow white costume was from Laura, Jane and Neil. She's got little chocolate muffin cakes this year with her candles on as we couldn't find gluten-free cake mix in time. I've got some coming tomorrow though, so she'll have one on saturday when she gets the rest of her presents that need some assembling. Plus pictures with mummy and Daddy.

Happy 3rd Birthday Caitlin!

2006-08-03T13:02:00.000+01:00

My little girl is growing so fast! I'm not allowed to call her my little girl or baby any more she tell me 'I'm a big girl now mummy!' But I think she'll still be my little girl when she's grown up and left home, lol!

Here's pictures of her each birthday from the day she was born and looked like she done 10 round with Mike Tyson (was actually the emergency forceps delivery) to today's picture of her in her new cowgirl dressing up outfit that she grudgingly let me take pictures of before going off for a canter round the garden.

Caitlin and Laura

2006-08-02T22:03:00.000+01:00

Just the one picture I've sorted from the weekend so far. This is Caitlin and her cousin Laura on a stone elephant in the play ground at whipsnade wild animal park. Don't they look similar? When they were walking hand in hand at one point they looked more like twins than cousins. It so good to see Laura has almost caught up Caitlin now, she was a head shorter last year. With just 13 days between them it's so interesting watching them both develop and grow, seeing the differences while at the same time not being competitive or destructive about who's doing what first.

They both had a fab day, Caitlin was fascinated by the sealion show and we were lucky enough to see their baby elephants on their daily walk too.

1966

2006-08-02T10:40:00.000+01:00

Tim's parents got married in 1966 on 'that' day when England won the world cup. Any how 40 years later it's their ruby wedding anniversary, so here's the book about 1966 that I made for their anniversary. It's an accordian book with gated cover, although you can't see that very well from these pictures. I should add every one of these images is originally from 1966.

new jewellery!

2006-07-25T14:44:00.001+01:00

One set for me, the stone is snowflake obsidian, it is the stone of purity and balance to the body, mind and spirit. It is supposed to allows one to recognize the unnecessary pattern which remain in ones life and to re-design ones thought patters to provide relief from undesired conditions. There is black and silver oval glass beads interspersed with round snowflake obsidian beads round the necklace and bracelet.

One for my brother's girlfriend, it's her birthday next week. I've done her a black set, being her favourite clothes colour, the beads are black or clear glass.

I actually sold 6 sets in total at Caitlin's nusery much to my delight. Really pleased that other people actually like enough to buy them. Hopefully I can make up some more, especially coming upto christmas.

Driving

2006-07-25T14:15:00.000+01:00

After the fiasco of getting my provisional licence I finally stopped chasing butterflies around the garden to go book my driving lessons! So I'd advise anyone thinking of being on the roads around me on 8th of August at 9.15am not to. I'm having 2 hour lessons on mondays and tuesdays through rest of august then thursday evenings in september. Hopefully this will get me well on the way before Tim's operation.

Although I had to laugh when she was trying to encourage me to buy the 'very good interactive DVDs that you can use with the television'. They use Tim's company software and he has already have aquired them for me :) I'd better start looking at them though as my theory test is goingto be late august.

2006-07-23T22:12:00.000+01:00

Even more butterflies!

2006-07-23T22:02:00.000+01:00

Ok so I'm obsessed chasing butterflies around the garden! But here's the latest additions. Peacock, red admiral, painted lady, holly blue (I think) Meadow brown, tortoishell and large white.

2006-07-21T10:03:00.000+01:00

The middle east situation gets worse and worse and Blair and Bush still seem to do nothing but get their own citizens safely out the way. I have one Lebanese friend and one married to a lebanese man. Thankfully neither had gone for their summer break when this all kicked off and they and their immediate families are safe in the UK, but both have families in danger, one in Beruit one in Nabatieh, in the South. Caroline's blog is here and brings home for me just how close this is to all of us.
While Kofi Annan condemned Hezbollah he also critises Israel for it's excessive use of force. Israel dropped leaflets on South Lebanon advising citizens to move away from the border areas, but at the same time bombs bridges making it impossible for innocent civilians to go anywhere. How does that work? Lebanese Prime Minister Fuad Siniora said in an interview on CNN that Israeli forces had also targeted ambulances and medical convoys. WTF! Yet still the Lebanese are suffering with little or no international support.

Hezbollah have been a thorn in Israel's side for a long time, but does it justify this sort of response? Israel have now killed far more more innocent children and civilians than Hezbollah in this conflict, they have bombed bridges preventing the escape of civilians from approaching war and destroyed a countries infrastructure. Can you imagine the international outcry particularly from the Americans if we'd done this to Ireland to defeat the IRA?!! Blair is just a lapdog to George Bush and can't seem to say anything without his agreement. At least the EU and the French are condemning to disproportionate use of force. Some 230 Lebanese are dead, most of them civilians, to 25 Israeli dead, 13 of them civilians (as of 19th July according to New York Times). One can only conclude that the US wishes to pull Iran and Syria into the conflict to justify further US intervention in the middle east and justify it's 'axis of evil' policy. I just pray the UN can intervene while there is still some of Lebanon still standing or there is a full scale war in the middle east pulling in many more countries, a frightening prospect for the whole world.

More butterflies!

2006-07-21T02:50:00.000+01:00

After some recovery work on the memory card Tim has recovered the pictures of butterflies I took in the garden on Wednesday. , thank you darling (That card is so going back if I can still find the receipt!)

Anyhow we have a comma butterfly who after flirting around the garden for the last few days, deigned to pose for a picture or few and the other one is a gatekeeper again, with a small tortoiseshell on the buddelia at the end of the garden. After the cabbage white, peacock, red admiral and an open picture of the tortoishell next. The buddelia is coming further into bloom each day and there are even mre butterflies in the garden, so I'm hopeful.

Oh and for those that notice the time of this post insomnia really sucks at the moment!

Chilli peppers

2006-07-16T20:17:00.000+01:00

We're growing a few varieties of chilli on the patio in pots this year. This one is a sunset chilli, so will be yellowish once it ripens, but the first three are now 3 - 4" long and developing nicely!

Butterflies in the garden

2006-07-16T19:53:00.000+01:00

Have spent the day in the garden and the buddelia at the far end is coming into flower and attracting in the butterflies. Today apart from the gatekeepers which have doubled in number there's been a peacock, red admiral and tortoishell flyig around, another one which is one of the frittilary family, but couldn't get close enough to work out which, a blue one and the common or garden cabbage white. None of the stayed still to photograph unless they were on the buddelia on the neighbours side of the fence so I couldn't reach with the camera! Then there's this one, a small skipper butterfly, the only one that was still long enough to photo.

I will live to fight (or should that be photograph!) another day.

In the meantime Caitlin played in the paddling pool underneath our huge parasol, splashing around merrily.

Fab day

2006-07-15T21:28:00.000+01:00

Finally got back to the crop run by Joanne who runs Boxroom Booty. Had a wonderful day, got to met Cath IRL too, who was lovely! and Dawn again who I haven't seen for months since I started university. Was so good to go out and see fellow scrappers again and just relax and have some me time away from the house. I've been doing an 8 x 8" holiday album, I've decided to keep it simple so I can actually get it done in the summer break. The album and papers were a christmas present from Gav and Flo, it's been a nice change working in the smaller format and I'm actual having fun doing the simple pages as a change to the 12 x 12 ones I've been doing.

Tim and Caitlin in the meantime went to the Butterfly House and had fun Caitlin even was brave enough to feed a goat on her own apparently, in the past she's been too scared to feed them herself.

I passed!!!

2006-07-14T20:34:00.000+01:00

Finally got my results for the year and I've passed! I've got an average of 64% which would be a 2.1, although they don't officially give you a grade for the first year.

After all the bad health in the last few months to do so well has just blown me away! I was so sure I'd failed one of my elective modules, but actually got 74%, my best mark of the year. So now can look forward to the next year with more confidence, so far all my uni friends I've heard from have passed too, which is great news too. I said at the start of the year I'd be happy with 50% average or more and over the moon with 60%+ so I've reached my higher wish level!

2006-07-13T21:44:00.000+01:00

Spent the afternoon in the garden with Caitlin, it's been a beautiful afternoon lovely and sunny and the bees and the butterflies were out in force on the lavender gathering nectar. Took the opportunity to play with the macro mode again on the camera but rather than flowers on moving targets. These are gatekeeper butterflies, there were three fluttering around in my lavender bed.

Why do I scrap?

2006-07-13T01:21:00.000+01:00

What put me off Creating Keepsakes is that everything seemed so artifical IFSWIM, they all look like they're studio posed carefully lit portraits or their kids must be coated in teflon! I want inspiration on how to use not so perfect every day pictures of Caitlin snapped at high speed as she ran past. Forget careful framing of the shot, I'm just glad if her head stays in one of the dozen digi pictures on the way past! Oh and I may be a Christian, but I don't want to thank god for my blessings in every LO or other such cringeworthy journalling.

I'm a member of a forum with some amazingly talented scrappers, many of whom are on design teams or regular contributors to the scrapbook magazines. They all have more creative talent in their little finger than I have in my whole body, it's why I've never applied for a design team. But I do like creating pages about me, my family and our life. I guess I have my own style, but I'm not sure if I could define it I think the main point of scrapping is to preserve our memories in a creative, beautiful way to look back on. Does it really matter what style, whether we're following the latest trend or whether the papers or embellishments are this years or last years? If we like what we create it doesn't matter, I think that if I can create pages that I like and record our family's history then that's the important thing.

I hope I'll be here a good long while, but if something happened and I died tomorrow would Caitlin in a few years time care whether I used last years embellishments, would she want 2 stunning LOs that were incredibly artistic, but tell her nothing about me or her, or would she want an album full of happy family memories, telling her how much she was loved and all the funny things she does? So while I'll always admire the beautiful work in the gallery, I'm just going to plod along doing LOs that I like for my family, content that we like them even if they're not cutting edge or using the latest trendy techniques or style statement and try not to feel too inferior. Tim may even forgive me for doing a LO with him and Caitlin covering in flowers, maybe. I'll upload it here at some point.

I'm just astounded that our amazing talented British scrappers are not given the international recognition they deserve, many of them fellow scrap padders.

So tired!

2006-07-11T13:15:00.000+01:00

I'm getting so frustrated, I'm just so tired all the time, I don't sleep well at night, but I have no energy during the day. My memory is crap and I just am getting so fed up! I wish I knew why I was so crap most of the time. I'm just hoping that I'll get some answers soon. My ultrasound on my kidneys is on the 24th and after that I get to go back to the consultant at the hospital and maybe I'll get some answers.

I'm a month into my summer break and it just feels I've done none of the jobs I had planned for the summer, I'm struggling just to keep up with the housework and Caitlin.

Ok, going to stop moaning now and go have a nap!

2006-07-09T21:56:00.000+01:00

Had the best news tonight, my sister is expecting her second child, due in January. I'm over the moon for her and my BIL. My niece Laura was born with talipes (club feet) and it was a really hard time for the first 18 months, with physio, two operations, splints for night and day etc...

But they've had the 12 week scan and everything is ok, but I don't think my sister will truely relax until the 20 week scan where they picked up Laura's problems. But I know whatever life throws at them they are good parents and will do all they can.

Being a mother

2006-07-08T21:23:00.000+01:00

I've reached a realisation about me as a mother. I love my daughter to pieces and I want the best for her, but I have come to accept that I cannot be a full time mum again. I was a full time 24/7 mother for 2 years and I spent much of that fighting a losing battle against PND and very bad SAD in the winter too. I ended up with a sort of social agraphobia, where I felt scared to go out and meet other mothers or to attend mother and toddler groups. I became increasingly depressed and in a downward spiral. However with antidepressants I became better and made the decision to go to university and am now studying for a degree. In the last year my depression has been so much better, I have been off anti depressants and I managed to get through the SAD season so much better than previous years.

I think it is because I am truely able to be 'Emma' not just 'mum' or 'Tim's partner' but a person in my own right again. I am happier and more fulfilled and as a result I am able to enjoy the time I do have with Caitlin more. I value the time I do have with her and am happier and more relaxed even on the days of toddler horror of which there seem to be many at the moment.

I'm on my summer break and I have got Caitlin home for 3 days a week and I am enjoying it, being able to take her to swimming class, pottering into Sheffield to meet up with Tim for lunch. But I am so worn out keeping up with her. It has made me realise I couldn't go back to being a full time mum again, sad as that make me feel. I feel awful knowing that I don't want to spend all day every day with her. I know I'd drop everything to be with her if she needs me. But if I am happy and fulfilled that makes me a better mother for time that I am with her, rather than her getting the worst of me all the time, she gets the better part of me for a shorter period of time. I don't want her to remember me as the grumpy mother who shouts at her all the time. While I know that I'm lible to always be the stricter parent I want Caitlin to have happy memories of her childhood time with me, not always the tired grumpy shouty mummy I seemed to be. Being a happy mother who loves and enjoys spending the time we have together is the best gift I can give Caitlin. Just because I'm studying now and will work once I graduate in two years time doesn't make me a bad mother, I'm accepting my limitations and doing the best I can for Caitlin and Tim to be the best partner and mother I can be. I have to admit that I can't wait to graduate and be earning, so I can employ a cleaner and have more time for the family.

I have so much admiration for those who are full time mothers I think they must be saints or on prozac!

New banner!

2006-07-05T21:46:00.000+01:00

After a little assitance from Tim and the great instructions from Clare I've managed to put my own banner on. The photo was from my 30th birthday and using brushes from SpaceRaven to create it.

Balance!

2006-07-05T15:27:00.000+01:00

latest LO 'Balance' it's all I can do sitting in the heat and humidity!
Photos of Caitlin on a bouncy balancing beam while we were on holiday. Journalling on the tag in the pocket.

The supplies are papers from Sandylion and Rusty pickle, Maya Road ribbon Candy soho collection, framedangoes from everlasting keepsakes, chip chatter tall chipboard letters both from the fabulous new Boxroom booty, chipboard buckle from Carolinezcraftz own brand and K&Co pocket and tag.

We have water!!!

2006-07-04T20:42:00.000+01:00

Our water came back after 29 hours! Unfortunately my neighbours are not all so lucky, my next door neighbour is still off and across the road are at 50% pressure. Ours is at 80% of the pressure before the leak, but that's probably because we all jusmped straight in the bath or shower when it came back on. Might have to go back off again, depending on whether the problems are caused by debris blocking the pipes or a third leak somewhere. In meantime I've had a bath and watered the garden.

Being a true scrapper though I had to take a couple of pictures. There's the hole in the road and the tank of water we got today that conviently got sat right in front of our front door. Never thought I'd see a tank like that outside our ouse, I connect them with the south east and the drought, one thing that doesn't seem to affect us here.

Hot, hot, hot!

2006-07-03T22:20:00.000+01:00

One of the hottest days of the year so far and no water. The pressure went mid afternoon and has just dribbled if that ever since. Yorkshire water engineer arrived just before 6pm, had a look round couldn't find the cause, delivered 12 litres of water to the affected 20 odd houses. All I want is some water to have a quick bath to cool down. They now think there is a burst pipe in the street, so are waiting for the gang to come dig up the road, guess we woun't be getting much sleep tonight then, but worth it to get the water back! They've given us another 24 litres of water, as they don't know if it will be back on tonight. Think I'm going to have to waste a bottle in the sink to have a wash at least tonight.

Caitlin has been enjoying the hot water though, she spend ages today sitting on her garden chair with her feet in the paddling pool under our big parasol. I spent the morning weeding and planting the last of our bedding plants out before collapsing into a chair with my feet in the paddling pool too!
Have been taking some pictures in the garden today of our flowers, there's lavender, marigold, rose, snapdragon and bears breeches.

2006-07-03T21:35:00.000+01:00

We picked our pea crop yesterday, Caitlin was in the thick of picking and podding the peas. We had an amazing tea, brocolli, mange tout and peas all grown in our garden. Even Caitlin ate some of our lovely yummy peas! Between eating some of the lettuice we've grown and masses of carrots, we may get her eating healthily yet!

Caitlin the photographer!

2006-06-30T00:37:00.000+01:00

Well we let her use a disposable camera on holiday (still to be developed) ut I let her loose in the garden with my old digital one this week, won't work inside as the light meter is broken but it's o outside. You can see her efforts here. As you can see she hasnt quite got the idea of having her fingers away from the lens, but she was very definate she wanted pictures of Oliver and Jessica and her car. Don't think these were too bad for a 2 year 11 month old. I'll have her taking photos and scrapping them by the time she's 5, LOL. She did get a scrapping set for christmas, so I thought I might let her have a go with a couple of holiday photos.

2006-06-28T22:06:00.000+01:00

Have been doing some digi scrapping over the last couple of days of our holiday pictures while I'm waiting for my photobox order. Was very impressed though as they dispatched them the same day as I ordered. Being as I didn't complete the order until 3pm though that was good.

First Night uses photoshop brushes form the very talented http://www.spaceraven.net/ with the flower embellishment and bits from Heather Ann designs.

Thank you to Tim...

2006-06-27T20:49:00.000+01:00

...for my flickr photo thing on the side bar, very cute!

Spent today cropping and ordering holiday pictures, hopefully they'll be here in a couple of days. We still need to take Caitlin's disposable camera in to get developed. She was asking if she could take more pictures again today! Think Tim may have created a monster, but she does like doing what mum does and I do take a few pictures when we're out and about.

Fun with photos

2006-06-27T17:00:00.000+01:00

It's all Tim's fault he gave me the link to this site http://www.flagrantdisregard.com/flickr/ great fun to play with, here's some of my efforts. I think they'd make nice embellishments for layouts, but the quality isn't very high for large sizes.

2006-06-25T19:41:00.000+01:00

Think this is my favourite one of the holiday though, how often can you get this close to a tiger? We were behind a clear barrier, but the tiger was only a foot or so away, amazing!

The seagull one was taken at Lakeside, he very oblingingly came and posed on the post while we were waiting for the boat.

Wild and wet!

2006-06-25T19:13:00.000+01:00

Well think that describes the weather in the lakes really! Gale force winds and rain for couple of days, largely cold and showery, but we made the best of it. Caitlin loved the camping though and we made the best of the dry spells.

On friday the weather was actually dry and sunny and we went to the South Lakes Animal Park. Had fantastic day, the lemurs are allowed to run free around the park and they are such fun to watch at such close quarters. Caitlin loved feeding the emu and various ducks. At feeding time she got to give a grape to a lemur which she though was fab! These are some of my favourite pictures from the zoo.

End of term!

2006-06-17T06:20:00.000+01:00

Well I've made it through the first year at uni. Did my presentation yesterday which went ok, had 10 seconds to spare on my time limit and there was one really awkward question afterwards, but I hope I have done enough to pass, would be gutted if I didn't. The Community essay is handed in too, so glad to get that out the way too, just hoping I pass, even if I only get 40% because the though of resitting that is just a nightmare. Should hopefully know if I've passed the year by the end on July, but it's not certain beacuse of the marking strike by some lecturers. Our boards to ratify marks in on the 10th July and any work not marked by then will have to wait until Autumn for confirmation. Obviously 3rd years who can't graduate without this are top of the priority list. I do know most of our lecturers have been marking through the strike, just witholding marks, so I'm hopeful.

Just seems amazing the first year is over already! Was in the pub yesterday having a stiff drink to recover from my presentation and was talking to Jane, she was the first person I spoke to on the first day and has become a friend. She was saying how weird it seemed that it was only 9 months ago and how much has changed since then. Thank you Tim for all your love and support this year, you've help me find the confidence and belief to do this, even if it does waver sometimes (especially just before an assignemnet due!) couldn't have done it without you.

We're off on holiday to the lakes camping today, so normally service will resume in a week.

Finally done the essay

2006-06-15T20:28:00.000+01:00

Yippee essay done, presentation ready for tomorrow. So much more relaxed, still not sure if I've done the right stuff for the essay, but it's done and I have something to hand in, just hope to have done enough to pass, don't care if I just scrap a pass 40% would be fine.

Bit nervous about presentation but Tim's ging to get talked at later so I can practice.

Can't wait for tomorrow about 2pm when my presentation will be over and that will be the end of the work this year. Oh and going on holiday on saturday

Getting there slowly!

2006-06-14T21:30:00.000+01:00

well the essay is progressing slowly, very slowly but I'm almost there. Hopefully I should have the first draft done by tomorrow lunch, I always find I'm most productive first thing in the morning, don't know why. I seem to have found source material in all sorts of places from the UN to the scandinavian OT journal. This essay seems to take more time than all the others this year and it's worth half the credits. At least I know I'll have something to hand in even if it is crap. What makes it more difficult is that the core text for the module is edited and partly written by our lecturer. There's so little material in the text books as Community based rehabilitation is a faily recent concept in OT, it's all journal articles and policies scattered all over the place.

I did managed to address my own occupational balance by doing a digi LO last night though.

Assignment stress

2006-06-13T16:13:00.000+01:00

Friday is the end of term and the day I have one essay due and a presentation to make for my two options modules. The presentation is almost ready, bit nervous about the presentation itself, but I'm not being marked on the presenting skills, just the content. So doing ok on that one, but the essay is a totally different story. I have so much info gathered together, but I just can't put it together in a coherant form. The guidance from the lecturer is almost non existant and he's not replying to emails. Very frustrated at moment, don't know what to do next. Oh well maybe it will seem clearer tomorrow, can't seem much worse than now. Really don't want to be doing an essay crisis through thursday night with a presentation to do on friday afternoon.

I'm so going to need our holiday by the end of this, even if it does look like it's going to be showery for lots of it. Can't wait to get away and have some quality time away from everything with Tim and Caitlin.

30th digi LO

2006-06-08T16:22:00.000+01:00

I love this piccie Tim took in the garden so did digi LO, I'm going to do a paper based one when I get some more photo paper for the printer too.

Birthday tea

2006-06-08T09:38:00.000+01:00

The beautiul weather held and we had a birthday tea in the garden. Caitlin had sprinkled mini chocolate buttons over the top and Tim had added the candles, although the wind kept blowing them out when he bought the cake out.

Today I have the appointment to get my 24 blood pressure monitor fitted and Caitlin is having her first trip to the hairdressers, hopefully I can take some pictures of her before and after. At least she'll look a bit more presentable for the christening we're going to on sunday with any luck.

30!!!!

2006-06-07T16:53:00.000+01:00

Spent the daytime at a willow weaving class, feeling very pleased with the results. The bird was my first effort, will add interest to the garden, then I made the obelisk, hopefully I can grow some sweet peas up this. It is a beautiful day and the class was held outside, overlooking the canal in the shade of the trees, just perfect peaceful setting. Loved it, but it's harder work than I expected.

Caitlin came in to see me this morning with a parcel and card singing happy birthday. She'd got me a beautiful paperweight, and I was very impressed to see she'd signed it with a very definate 'C' I've been promised a cake decorated by Caitlin this evening, so there's bound to be candles. Hoping the beautiful weather holds and we'll have my birthday tea in the garden.

My family have all given me vouchers or money towards my driving lessons which is most welcome, so watch out after our holiday in June I'll be let loose on the roads!

Last day in my twenties!

2006-06-06T09:08:00.000+01:00

Well I am about to leave the twenties tomorrow I become a woman in my thirties. Weird feeling, makes me look back and review where I am and where I've come from. So here's my thoughts so far on what I feel as I turn 30:

I have

A wonderful partner and an amazing daughter
Got out of a violent marriage
Finally made it to university
Completed Open University course while Caitlin was small
A home of our own
Used my creativity to keep memories for the future
Learnt to move on from the past
Beat postnatal depression
Stopped using alcohol as a crutch

I will

Graduate as an Occupational Therapist
Pay back my student loans
Finally sort the house to how we want it
Lose some weight
Get out more, especially with Tim
Have more holidays abroad
Get to more crops and meet friends
See Caitlin start school
Learn to drive

I love

Family time together
Watching Caitlin grow up
Getting away for the weekend with Tim
Gardening
Crafting time for me
Fulfilling my potential at university
My laptop and wireless internet connection
Being in the sunshine
Chocolate

I dislike

Being late

Hypocrisy
Constantly being in a mess
Ironing
The textured wallpaper in the house we inherited
Not spending as much time with Caitlin as I’d like
Being overweight
Not having much money
A long commute to university for an hour lecture

I regret

Not leaving my ex-husband earlier
Giving up my university place at 18
Losing all my confidence
Not seeking help for PND earlier
Losing contact with old friends
Being naturally messy
Allowing myself to believe I was worthless for a while

Milk Time

2006-05-30T19:53:00.000+01:00

Another LO, been busy today, digital one this time. Caitlin feeding the goats at South Anston Butterfly Farm, although she loves the butterflies her favourite is most definately feeding the kid goats.

Latest Effing dare LO

2006-05-30T14:33:00.000+01:00

Well the challenge is to see which of the facial expressions remind you of Tim and which of me. Love all these little piccies of Caitlin, also made Tim a little book of this for his birthday.

Feelin bit less pressure at University, have started putting my presentation together for neuro option, haven't been defeated by powerpoint yet either, although there's still time for that!

Don't you just hate insomnia?

2006-05-30T00:33:00.000+01:00

Arghh far too early in the morning and I'm wide awake. Can't sleep, have really sore throat and glands coming up, just hoping GF isn't trying to take advantage of me being run down. Especially as I'm being taken away this weekend for a nice break with Tim, don't know where he's keeping it a surprise, all I really know is I'm going somewhere north of here about an hour and a half away. Keep asking odd questions to get a few more clues, but he's not giving much away. to be honest I'm just looking forward to some special time together, a break from Caitlin and a lie in before I turn 30!

Any how back to the sleeping thing, why is it when you can't sleep all those things you need doing and repairs to the house come into your mind and then you start worrying about those and that keeps you awake even more. So need to find someone to come clean our gutters out; the height of our house means there's no way I'm going up a ladder to do it. Then there's the flat roof over the bay window that still need sealing, that one is down to Tim, his dad has offered to help him, but still it needs doing, just been so much else going on this year. Then the big one is the damp walls in the dining room, could be leaking chimney, rising damp due to a faulty damp proof, not sure, but either way it'll probably be expensive and really does need sorting :( Arghh joyful things to think about at ungodly hours of the morning. On the plus side the whole house was sprayed for woodworm and other creepy crawlies before we moved the furniture in, so that's one less thing to worry about.

Been a weird weekend, Saturday we went to get a few bits for camping trip next month and got a few bits of shopping. Caitlin was lovely on sunday, probably helped by going to butterfly farm in the morning which she loved again, she just loves feeding the baby goats and she got to feed a calf. She thought the parrots saying hello to her was rather good too. Tim and I both held an owl I always forget just how light they are being all feathers. Today though, especially this morning our daughter seemed to be the child from hell! You'd have thought we were speaking some alien language when we said no or stop it when we wre in Matalan getting her a new swimsuit. Then she grabbed my engagement ring and threw it under the car in one smooth move when I was putting her back in the car, thankfully I found it. I was so furious with her I had to let Tim finish putting her in. Then after a nap this afternoon, she made jam tarts with me as good as gold really while Tim went to cinema. I just don't know what makes her tick sometime.

prodded, poked and x-rayed!

2006-05-24T17:01:00.000+01:00

Well been to hospital, had another ECG and chest x-ray both of which were clear, had more blood and urine tests done and more to do over 24 hours. Then have to have ultrasound on my kidneys and a 24 hr blood pressure monitor done too(will get appointments in next couple of weeks). Think consultant is being very thorough, so I guess that's a good thing.

Physio has given me some exercises and referred me for orthotics, so Tim and I will have a matching pair. Basically she has given me some strengthening exercises, but she says that there's nothing she can do about the hyperextension and overly mobile joints that I have, so there's a limit to how much improvement I'll get and my joints will always be at risk of damage, because of the loose ligaments not holding my joints together tightly enough. Think that's about the gist of it, hopefully the strengthening exercises will help though.

Physio and hospital tomorrow

2006-05-23T21:18:00.000+01:00

Yeah got call from physio dept today they have a cancellation for tomorrow afternoon, bit better than the 6 months wait I'd been lead to expect, so hopefully they can work on my hip to see what's going on and get rid of the pain. and it's in the village, so not far to travel.

Then in the morning I get to see hospital consultant about my blood pressure, so more tests I suspect. The GP had run out of tests and ideas, but there's more the hospital can do. Just hope they can find the cause and sort it, fed up of the headaches, migraines and constant tiredness.

Perfect Beauty

2006-05-22T15:15:00.000+01:00

Latest LO - Perfect Beauty for this weeks effing dare. Love photoshop and optic verve labs for photo filters, changed this one to black and white. Papers are from Making memories Boho Chic Lauren range. Should really be working but taken couple of hours out for me.
Tim seemed to enjoy his birthday pressies, he got them yesterday as today's a work day and Caitlin can eb too antsy by the evening. Caitlin and I made him a chocolate birthday cake which she then decorated. Not sure where but she's picked up the rude version of 'happy birthday' so has been singing that to Daddy, very funny.

2006-05-18T20:31:00.000+01:00

Very chuffed, sold my first necklace and bracelet today, this one. Just need to sell a few more now. Fingers crossed the girls at Caitlin's nursery will buy a couple more tomorrow.

I dream...

2006-05-17T16:07:00.000+01:00

Well finally did my effing dare, only week late, but never mind. Just love these piccies Tim took in the garden. Used my new Qk set Sunshine, still think this is real cute alpha, just perfect for Caitlin LOs. We've been making definate efforts to take not just pictures of Caitlin, but ones of he with us too and try and get over my photo phobia. So this is some of the results.

Digi LO

2006-05-16T17:48:00.000+01:00

Forgot to put this one up here, simple digi LO with photo from the other day, still love this piccie. Hugs and kisses digi kit from ditialscrapbookplace.com and flower freebie from shabbyprincess.com
Plan for Tim's birthday next week, not sure what we're doing yet, but I'm sure we'll do something this weekend. I'm sure Caitlin will help me make and decorate a cake, but I've agreed that 31 candles may be few too many for one cake!

Manic few days

2006-05-15T22:10:00.000+01:00

Wow, finally calmed down today, Friday Tim and I went to a garden show, now don't laugh, he who hated gardening went to a show. It was beautiful weather and we had a picnic in the sunshine, really nice to have a grown up day out without Caitlin. Found ourselves some herbs, a clematis and rather pretty red leaved acer amongst others.

Saturday's plans went a bit pear shaped when we woke up to find Jess ill, tthose who've had the delight of meeting our burmese cat will know, she's vocal and demanding especially first thing in the morning when she wants breakfast, you can't move in the kitchen for fear of tripping over the cat winding round your legs until you feed her. Well she didn't make any noise and wouldn't get off the sofa, which got us a little worry, so got a piece of salmon out the fridge and she turned her nose up at that, so I called the vets, who managed to fit her in that morning, but it meant rather than all three of us going to the gluten-free food fair, Caitlin and I went while Tim went to vets with Jess. Jess had tonsilitis, so has got some antibiotics and seems back to normal, but she goes back for check up on friday.

Took Caitlin on the train to York, she was as good as gold on 'my train' and charmed everyone round the food fair. She loved being able to go from stall to stall just trying everything, so often if we're out we have to say no. I got my first battered fish in 8 years at the gluten-free fish demo, very yummy it was too! Caitlin had a banana fritter, we came back with several loaves of free bread, some nice goodies to try like pork pies and ice cream cones and a whole heap of leaflets on gluten-free stuff we can get on prescription, very worthwhile day out. Was so nice for Caitlin and I to feel normal for once, not the odd ones out.

We came back with so much bread that Tim made a bread and butter pudding for dinner on Sunday, it was gorgeous, Caitlin seemed to enjoy it too, so think that may become regular on the weekends menu.

On sunday we were also sorting through Caitlin's clothes and baby toys, sorting some bits and pieces for nearly new sale. Was doing really well until we found her cot mobile and I got all sentimental and had to keep it. But I did manage to parcel up a lot of her baby stuff, even if we only make a bit of money, we'll have it for our camping holiday in June a week away together, should be great fun, looking forward to seeing how Tim and Caitlin adapt, could be interesting.

Medical Update

2006-05-08T16:17:00.000+01:00

Well the good news is that my blood tests and ECG are all normal, but the bad news my blood pressure is still too high. Because I'm under 40 it's very rare to just have high blood pressure, it's normally a secondary condition to something else. So I'm off to see consultant at hospital later this month for more specialist tests the GP can't run. In meantime I can start taking betablockers to start bringing it down, so hopefully less headaches and migraines soon, which has got to be good.

Got my essay sent off this morning, so feeling much happier, not sure if it's any good or if I'll pass, but at least I got something together to post off, just want to pass, don't care how high the pass is right now. At least with that done I can concentrate on my two modules for the rest of term.

Been asked by Caitlin's nursery staff if I'll take some jewellery up to sell as they love the ones I've been wearing. Think I'll have a go, but a bit daunting to make for others, it's one thing as a pressie, but feels bit odd making them specifically to sell.

Playing with my camera

2006-05-05T13:50:00.000+01:00

Taking a break from my essay writing for lunch and a bit of fresh air, took my new camera out to play with the macro mode. Took this piccie of the white clematis in my garden, love the way it shows three stages of the flower bloom opening. Its a beautiful sunny day outside and I'd love to be pottering out there, but have to get on with the essay, 2/3 way through now, so hopefully will have this done today. Better get back to essay.

Mummy and Caitlin

2006-05-03T20:56:00.000+01:00

Caitlin sang happy birthday down the phone to Uncle Peter (well his mobile answerphone) very cute, hope he appreciated it. Love this piccie Tim took while we were on the phone, really weird angle, but it kinda works some how.

Been to doctors today and had my blood tests taken, blood pressure rechecked and surprise surprise it's still too high, hey hum. Have to wait for results and ECG on monday now, at least I get to see GP straight away after ECG so don't have to wait too long. Hopefully then I can get something to bring my blood pressure down and stop the headaches.

Essay due in on monday and I'm finding it really hard going at moment, just constantly tired and headachy, not ideal to spend time in front of computer or reading a pile of text books.

Welcome to Paisley

2006-05-02T21:10:00.000+01:00

Welcome to Paisley the purple penguin he'll follow your mouse round screen, click on him a few times you can unbalnce him and knock him in the water. Thanks to Clare for adding her own pet to her blog and Tim for adding him to my blog, I can't work out all the code stuff.

Ok I'm still addicted to Quickutz even if I can't afford to buy many at the moment, although I got my QK Sunshine set at weekend, having sold off a couple of my older alphas I didn't use so much now to fund it. Then they bring out the May shapes and I love them all! Really cute flowers, daisy goosebumps, simple flourish set and then a punctuation set to match the sunshine kit arghhh!!! Can't afford to buy them all, well in fact probably can't afford any, with Tim's birthday and the gluten-free food fair in York this month. Hey hum, more to add to my birthday wish list for next month for those that don't get me a driving lesson or money towards them.

Can't believe I'm 30 next month, I'm just not grown up enough.

Budding gardener

2006-04-29T21:50:00.000+01:00

Beautiful weather this afternoon, so we were all in the garden. Caitlin was filling plant pots with soil and helping me transfer the chilli and basil seedlings into bigger pots. Then we were weeding the flower beds and removing snails (52 at final count!) All while Tim mowed the lawn and dug out the last of the turf from the new veg bed. Hopefully we'll have that finished tomorrow so Caitlin can plant more seeds. Must take camera out with us tomorrow, been to busy just enjoying gardening to take any piccies, but it would be nice to have a couple of our budding botanist.

Did manage to take these two cute piccies of daddy and daughter curled up on the sofa this morning though. Caitlin had been sat on Tim's chair but the minute he sat down on the sofa she insisted on sitting with daddy and watching TV, definately daddy's little girl day.

2006-04-28T17:05:00.000+01:00

Well one more essay down, one to go, have week to do it, hopefully my head improves so I can work more than an hour at a time.

Been to GP today blood pressure still too high, so have to have whole load of blood tests done and an ECG. Until they decide why I have high blood pressure can't have beta-blockers as it masks symptoms. So stuck with headcahes and migraines and this overwhelming tiredness. Role on week on monday when they should have all results back.

In other news I took Caitlin's first gluten-free prescription to the chemist today and spoke to receptionist at GP and went through a whole load of other stuff to add to the list too. Caitlin will be pleased her favourite bourbon biscuits are on prescription.

Latest creations are mobile phone/bag charms, first time I've tried them, but quite pleased with the outcome. The pink one has pearl beads, the green one has shell beads and the topaz one has chips of blue topaz. These are all going to someone else, but I have got bits to make some more, going to do purple one next.